There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we're making bets on your personal life
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
