Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
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If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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