He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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