You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
