hell yes lets make some ravioli
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
