How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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