Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This is my gift to your gina
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
