Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
