looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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