I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
