Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
