either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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