how can u be prego again
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
