I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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