There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
