dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
