Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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