I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
