my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
