Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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