it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
