But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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