we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
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So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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