and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
