it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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