No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
they need to just BURY HIM!
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
