it wasn't lemon gatorade
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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