Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
