he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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