lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
