you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
