The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
