Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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