Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
