best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
