it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
