i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
