I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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