Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
