I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
