would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
