I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
