My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
