well I can't set my house on fire every night
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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