And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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