Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
