Small penises have feelings too.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
