Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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