I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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