so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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