Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
