I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
