batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
pray to the hookup gods
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
