we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
