Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
