We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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