Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
