i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
