i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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